Let’s face it, there’s going to be a lot of wedding crap on this blog for the next few years- so why not give it it’s own alliterative day? I present “Wedding Wednesday.” I don’t claim originality of this, but I can’t think of who to give credit to, either. Enjoy!
Going back to homecoming this past weekend was a double bonus- I got to revisit the town and the people that I love so dearly and I got to relive the excitement of engagement all over again!
“Can I see the ring?”
“How did it happen?”
“Were you expecting it?”
Was I expecting it? My relationship with that question is complicated. If you mean, “were you surprised?” The sincere, true answer is YES, I was super surprised. If you mean, “did you feel like you were waiting for this to happen?” The answer is nope, not at all. I was banking on next Christmas or St. Patty’s Day. If you mean, “had you been wishing for this to happen?” The answer, admittedly, is probably more than you know.
When people ask, “were you expecting it,” I kind of feel like I’m not providing full disclosure if I say no. Why do I feel “yes” wouldn’t be the right answer? When I say how surprised I was, people’s reactions are, “that’s the best!” It was the best! I was surprised, mostly because it was 5 p.m. on a Friday on a walk in our scrubby work out clothes. The only way good surprises can really come.
What I’m trying to say here is, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any crazy-girl moments about whether we’d ever be engaged before this. Yes, ever. In retrospect, that seems stupid, of course we’d get engaged at some point, but as only women caught in a dramatic moment know, not in the foreseeable future is equal to ever.
Our relationship would best be described as “quietly evolving.” We unexpectedly transitioned from friends to newly crushing love birds. Being roommates came out of common sense and practicality. I wasn’t sure how getting engaged would happen, a fairly intentional act.
Crazy-Girl Moment 1
A little over a year ago, before I moved in with Nick, I remember telling him about a conversation I was having with a girlfriend who thought she might be getting engaged soon. His negativity surrounding marriage shocked me. It was something he didn’t want to do until he was, “like, 30.” He referred to it in a way that he felt life ended with marriage. I was so sad. I’ve never been stoked at the idea of marriage but after being with him, I really felt like getting married is a beginning. I already knew I would love to make it official with the person I have the most fun with in the world and here he was, talking about it like water-boarding.
Fortunately, this conversation started at the beginning of a long drive back from Perry and by the time I dropped him off he was starting to see that marriage wasn’t a death sentence. I dropped it and good things began to happen. We would joke about what kind of wedding we wanted, “a bunch kegs and a pig roast” and where we would honeymoon, “Hawaii, obviously.” Never lingering on the topic for too long, but I could tell he was no longer regarding getting married as cruel and unusual punishment, and for that, I breathed a big sigh of relief.
Crazy-Girl Moment 2
I can only recall one moment in time where I really lost my shit about it. It was like I put together perfect Molotov cocktail and didn’t recognize it until the fuse was lit. The ingredients?
Lots of wine. I mean, LOTS of wine
Realizing I wasn’t as comfortable living with someone who I wasn’t engaged to as I would have thought
Family really doesn’t help with this either- I really wish they’d leave cows and their milk out of it, it’s very uncomfortable
Knowing people who get engaged who have been together for less time
Talking about wedding stuff for a weekend non-stop
Not going to lie, folks, it was ugly…ugly crying. And then it was over. One night of worrying. One night of realizing I might end up like Jennifer Aniston’s character in “He’s Just Not That Into You” and I wouldn’t be the exception.
The Calm after the Storm
It was good to get that out of the system because I had a big wedding season ahead of me. I am happy to (honestly) report I went through the rest of my summer unconcerned with when, if ever I would have a ring on that one finger on my left hand. I wanted to enjoy everything. Take in wedding receptions without dissecting the place cards and center pieces. It was the kindest thing I could ever do for myself – let go.
And it was good to get this out of my system too. I know there seems like there can be stigma about being eager to get married. I can totally understand how some girls go overboard when they allow themselves to wait for a proposal. When you’re surrounded in it – you can’t help but want it too. It’s the one bridge that when you start to see all of your friends jump off it, you’d really like to jump too. I blame all of my friends and family who have such happy, fulfilling, and fun marriages for me wanting something similar with my one and only.